The CatAWhack Crew Purrforms "Free Your Mind - Free Felines!"

We’ve laid the scratch down!  I bet you didn’t know that The CatAWhack Crew is also musically feline inclined. We took En Vogue’s “Free Your Mind”, released in 1992, and gave it our own new special scratchin’ interpretation. Play the YouTube video while singing our lyrics.

“Purrrejudice, scratched a song about it
Like to hear it? Here it go
Free Felines!

I have claws loaded, all four paws
It doesn’t mean that I’ll do harm to ya, no no
I like a scratchin’, like scratchin’ posts
That doesn’t mean that I’m out scratchin’ folks no no no

Oh my forgive me for scratchin’ here, no
You should have placed a scratchin’ surface right there yea yea
I might scratch another chaise or carpet
It doesn’t mean that I won’t scratch other options

Why oh why must it be this way
Before you declaw me you gotta
Learn how to see me, I said
These claws are mine and don’t take them from me
Be feline kind, don’t be so hasty
Free your mind and the rest will follow
Be feline kind, don’t be so shallow

So I’m a kitteh scratch things and dash
That really doesn’t mean that my behavior’s bad, oh
So why amputate me and change my life
Because you don’t think the price is high for me

I can’t scratch without being shamed, no
You changed my life before I learned what to do, ow
Oh now attitude, why even bother
I can’t change your mind, and now I’m permanently altered

Why oh why must it be this way?
Before you dismiss me you gotta
Learn how to see me, I said
These toes are mine and don’t take them from me
Be feline kind, don’t be so hasty
Free your mind and the rest will follow
Be feline kind, don’t be so shallow
Free Felines!

Why oh why must it be this way?
Before you dismiss me you gotta
Learn how to see me, I said
These claws are mine and don’t take them from me
Be feline kind, don’t be so hasty
Free your mind and the rest will follow
Be feline kind, don’t be so shallow
Free your mind!”

Have other lyrics about cat claw retention?  Land that scratch on our Facebook or Twitter Page.  You can also leave a scratch below this post.

Scratch On Felines…Scratch On!

Our PURR-version of Depeche Mode’s “Personal Jesus” is titled “Reach Out & Pet Me” about a cat in a shelter seeking adoption and meowing about the ways he can make a difference for the lucky human willing to give him a chance. Please consider adopting a feline family member and visit your local shelter today!  Find cats available at Columbia Missouri Second Chance.  Only nice humans need apply!

Sing along with the Depeche Mode and CatAWhack Crew’s lyrics on the next page:

It looks like cats are not the only ones who are curious.

We woke up this morning, inspired by the first day of Spring and the anticipation of sunshine and 70 degree weather.  A purrfect day to have a little fun so we put on a dramatic face and stared in the direction of PR Canine Consultant Renshu.  He cocked his head from side to side, ears lifted toward the sky, looked around to see what was placing him at the center of attention.  His expression was priceless! That’s when we lost it.  We became balls of chuckling fur on the floor, grabbing our bellies as our purrs of delight hit a volume level off the charts.

Laughter is Good Medicine!  So spread the dramatic today.  This works pawticularly well if you’re in a cubicle or small space (such as the elevator or standing in line) with another purrson.  First, ensure that you know the other person, preferably well. Suddenly look over at them eyes wide; mouth open in shock, horror, or surprise; now hold it for a few uncomfortable seconds.  Watch them glance around, look behind themselves, and then look at you like “WHAT?”

Don’t let distance dissuade you from giving it a try.  This dramatic expression works equally well from across a room.  Suddenly stand up in your cubicle, look at the purrson in the next cubicle over, or the one who has that nice corner office with the window and transparent glass wall.

Remember this dramatic exercise is meant to be an entertaining distraction in self-care for the purrpose of inspiring spontaneous laughter.  Do your part…Encourage the world to laugh today! Why not?!

CAUTION: Employ at your own discretion.  Do not hold the dramatic expression for more than a few seconds.  Elongated directed dramatic expressions have been found to illicit irrational fear, inferiority complexes, and mass hysteria in vulnerable populations.

We’ve included some videos of our animal furriends in case you need some inspurration or require a few pointers:

Dramatic Cat Meets the Dramatic Lemur:

The CatAWhack Crew wondered…hmmm…If Lady Gaga was a feline (she kind of looks like us in her photo below) how would that change the lyrics of her hit song “Born This Way”?

Lady Gaga advocates for the acceptance and understanding of the unique diversity and creative manifestations within the human race and the right to full free expression of who one is without incurring a backlash of fear, insecurity, hatred, and abuse.

What would Feline Gaga advocate for? The acceptance and understanding of the anatomy, behavior, and communication style of felines and their right to full free expression of who they are, claws and all without incurring declawing (surgical amputation of the first toe digits) procedures that are imposed by uninformed or ill advised humans.

We’ve provided Lady Gaga’s music video so that you have the music accompaniment as you sing Feline Gaga’s new lyrics. Go to the next page where you’ll find the new lyrics in blue. Purr and sing to your hearts content!

Felines of the CatAWhack Crew (Macy, Carlita, Bhuton): “Okay Fancy Feast…You really did it this time! Pulling at our heart strings with the sight of two beautiful cats; creating an environment of hope, new beginnings, and optimism; and making us fall in love with the guy who created that pawsome play area. (The Crew looking at human Bret as he types their words and does their bidding) Why can’t you be more like that huh?”

Bret: “In my own defense, haven’t I provided you with multiple CatAWhack Units with soft comfortable Cattress Mattresses? Positioned them in the front of windows streaming with sunlight and great views? Given you a variety of toys in the name of environmental enrichment? Provided treats that make you say ‘Mmmm?’ What? Now you want an entire room?”

Macy: “Do you love us?”

Bret: “Yes.”

Bhuton: “Nuff said Fred. Our work is done here. C’mon guys, let’s go take some measurements. Carlita, I want you to work on the design elements…Remember, Think BIG!”

Bret: “Fred? My name is Bret.”

Carlita: “I think the guy in the video is named Fred. See him as a role model. Okay Fred?”

Macy: “All of our CatAWhacks in the same room! We’ll need a few in the common areas too in case we want to hang around with Fred.”

Bret: “Guys? Where are you goin’? Guys…?”

It seems like the words “paw” and “pad” just naturally go together in the cat world and what is in the middle of it all “PawiPad”? You guessed it! I AM! Speaking for the whole CatAWhack Crew, I guess I should say “we”, but then the whole creative verbiage I got goin’ here turns into “PawwePad” which is an entirely different subject.

New apps have been exploding. If humans get to play in this advanced technological age, why can’t felines? Well, yes we can. App for cats?…yep, there’s an app for that! These new options take environmental enrichment to a whole new level. A combination of “real” and “virtual” toys will keep cats, big and small, entertained, active, and healthy.

Cool canines cruising in a Subaru. Stolen Parking Space. Who’s responsible for making that Canine Driver Cry?

Find out here:

Do we dare put our paws on those bright round enticing ornaments that beckon with the on-off twinkle of reflective blinking lights? Do we restrain ourselves and appear disinterested in front of the human when we secretly celebrate the overnight growth of an indoor tree? Was dat you Santa Claws that answered our meows of desperation?

The scratch enthusiast within us all is inspired. We each claim the tree by carving our name at the base and then with a quick back and forth tail swish, challenge one another to a race to the top. It is on! Who will be the first to reach the star and claim the prize, the wagered window perch, the best seat in the house? We all begin pulling ourselves up by branches that bend under our weight and the whole tree shakes like a shaggy dog after a bath. The click click of the bobbles sound like the rhythmic ticking of a start clock. We weave in and out of the ascending branches as if climbing a spiral staircase to cat heaven.

The moment is interrupted by the jingling of keys in the front door. He’s home. We all gather innocently around the computer monitor and pretend to watch this video clip:

We, the members of the CatAWhack Crew, practice our regular scratch, drop, and roll routine first thing in the morning. It is an excellent way to stretch and warm up for a quick romp through the house before settling down for another nap.

Sometimes the three of us will go through the routine several times because someone misses their paw cue, gets the timing all wrong, or misplaces the sequence like rolling before scratching. Do we get a little frustrated with each other after several attempts to purrfect the routine? Of course, however we always paws and make up.

Our two furriends in this video clip seem to be experiencing the same thing so we created these lyrics in an effort to describe the scene and provide a little encouragement:

“Patty-Cake, Patty-Cake Fighting Cats!
Tried to play patty-cake but you got mad!
Roll it up, messed it up, got a paw slap.
Can we play Patty-Cake? Yes, we can.”